Stuart Goldsmith discusses the power of your dreams - and that the only real way to live your life is to live your dream to it's fullest.
No Approval Required by Stuart Goldsmith
It is your dream that counts, not somebody else's definition of what constitutes a valid dream.
You do not need to get your dream countersigned by society and have them approve it as big enough or important enough.
The dream is for you, not society. It matters not one jot if a single other human being benefits or not from your passion.
You're doing it because you want to do it. That's the only reason you need. If you want to make money from your dream, then it will have to benefit others as well, but it's a very rare dream which has no positive impact on the lives of others.
Big, planet-changing dreams are allowed, of course!
Just make sure it really is your passion, and not something you are claiming to believe in for one of these three erroneous reasons:
1. It's so big you know you'll never do it, and so there's no point in making a start. In other words, your grandiose passion is little more than an excuse for in-action.
2. This is not really your passion, but you think it sounds grand enough, altruistic enough, or worthy enough to be allowed under society's definition of 'meaningful.' In other words, you feel that small, personal dreams are not allowable, are too insignificant and make you look like a loser.
3. Your dream is merely one, grandiose strategy for filling your need - you could fill that need far more easily than via this complex and unlikely scheme you have envisaged.
When you get in contact with your passion, and follow it, remarkable life-changing events will happen to you - sometimes not exactly what you might expect. Here is a story taken from Barbara Sher's book which illustrates this point well.
The Story of Jessie
Jessie was 45, very quiet and shy. She lived in Atlanta, Georgia, and ran an office for her husband, a well-known architect. He was a star in his community, involved with meetings and parties while Jessie did all the unglamorous paperwork.
Jessie had no idea what she wanted do with her life. She joined a six person Success Team (a self-help group of about six people who meet regularly to make each other's dreams come true).
Jessie's team did everything they could to help her find something she'd love, though she couldn't come up with a thing.
"Why don't you look for a job you like better?" They asked. "I don't know," she said. "I just don't feel like it."
Months went by. Then one day, Jessie walked into the group and announced: "I want to race sled dogs in the winter race at Bear Grease." (Bear Grease is a small town in Minnesota.)
The team was flabbergasted.
"Are you sure?"
" Yes," Jessie said. "That's what I want to do."
" Do you mind telling us why?" They asked.
" I don't know why," she said.
" Do you know anything about sled dog racing?"
" Nope."
That was the end of the team's questioning.
Before I go any further, see if you can guess at the need which this challenge might fulfill in Jessie.
Her team were so happy Jesse had found something she wanted that they set out immediately to help find a training school, or a dog racer, or anything. They approached anyone walking any kind of dog and asked, "Do you know anything about sled dog racing?" Finally, somebody did know about a summer training camp for dog racers, and on a warm summer day, Jessie walked into camp, went up to the trainer, and said, "I want to learn how to run the sled dogs."
He looked at her, a tiny 45 year-old lady in a straight skirt and sensible shoes, and decided to discourage her. He hitched up the team of dogs to a training sled on wheels and gave her the reins.
"Here," he said. "Practice a little. See if you like it."
Suddenly he shouted to the dogs and they took off running. Jessie could barely keep up with them. She tripped and slid and practically fell on her face, but she stayed with the dogs all the way around the track. When she finished and caught her breath, she smiled at the trainer and said, "I love this!" He laughed, and consented to train her.
When winter came and it was time to go to Bear Grease, Jessie realized she knew nobody. She asked her trainer if she could use his name for introductions and he said, "I can't do that, Jessie. You are still a beginner, and I have a reputation to maintain." So Jessie's Success Team took her to the airport and saw her off with loud cheers and secret fears.
When she arrived at Bear Grease she found a tiny town, mostly one main street, packed with snow and full of seasoned sledders sitting around in clumps with their dogs. She forced herself to walk up to one crew after another, asking if anyone needed a helper, until finally, someone who had lost an assistant to the flu took her on. And Jessie ran with a team of sled dogs over a hundred mile course.
The Success Team went wild when she called after the race and when Jessie returned home, she was a satisfied woman. She told her team all the gripping details with a big smile on her face. "Now, that's happiness," one said. "It sure it is" Jessie said. "What now?" her team said. "More training?"
"No," she said. "I'm finished. I don't want to do that
any more."
There was a moment of stunned silence and then her team said, "Well, what do you want to do now?" Jessie said,
" Quit my job."
It had never occurred to anyone in Jessie's team that she would need to overcome a big challenge before she'd be ready to give up her thankless job and go out into the world.
That was an excellent example of the power of dreams. Jessie knew she wanted to change her life, but could not summon up the courage to quit her job outright. She needed this intermediary dream to help her realize a bigger goal - that of independence. It was, if you like, a 'steppingstone' dream.
Until next time...
© Stuart Goldsmith - Worldwide Rights Reserved
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