Are you being yourself ... or the person your family, friends or work colleagues want you to be?
Just who exactly are you ... being?
Often we are not being our true selves, but are more concerned as being people pleasers. It may seem now that this is normal ... that you have to fit in ... but how much of you are you 'loosing' by playing the majority game.
This people pleasing habit may be an early habit developed in order to make your parents treat you a certain way, or have your partner or prospective partner see you in a particular way, or an act to impress your co-workers and boss.
It may seem simple to do ... with some 'picture' of the supposed rewards there in the distance ... but internally it's a hard act to keep feeding. After awhile, you may even start to forget there is 'another you' - a 'you' with strong desires, interest and passions ... un-lived.
And, as you feed the habit ... it grows in strength. The more you repeat the same action, the more you feel you have to carry on with the act, as the people around you accept this 'act' as the real you.
It could be seemingly insignificant things. For example, you may go along with office gossip even if you're not comfortable with it, simply to to fit in. When you do things outside of your true nature, inside ... you are building tensions.
Yes, there is a majority conformity that .. well, we have to conform to. But life, society ... has enough space for us all to be true. True to our nature, spirit and passions. Deprive yourself and you deprive others. A phrase that I found people react strongly to when I am involved in NLP training's is "the World deserves the real you". It is hard to live like a ghost or shadow and you are depriving yourself and others of seeing who you really are.
So why are you hiding yourself behind a mask? We are all beautifully different, that's how we were created, that's what is so marvelous about our species. You can be different - be yourself, at the same time as 'fitting in' to the World view of behaviors etc etc etc. People seek out complimentary's, people who are similar and different. Trying to be the same is a lie to yourself, your friends ... and existence.
Trust your nature. I believe that we all have an innate humanity, an innate moral sense we are born with. It gets mucked up more by not being true to yourself than by any external influences. Start now, and re-introduce yourself to your friends, those you trust and are familiar with. They may be surprised, but they will also appreciate your honesty, the expression of your truths and being.
But what if ... Yep, some people may be shocked that you think differently than them. Were they ever a good friend? Did you really like them? The steps may be tentative at first ... and with each step a new habit develops. A habit of being ... yourself.
Take the first step, and enjoy ...
Best of every happiness and being,
Vic Carrara
www.empowersu.com
More on NLP: www.allnlp.info www.freenlp.com www.nlpsalestraining.com
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